It is okay to not have endless patience for people-pleasing. While fawning is a normal response to trauma, and is less immediately damaging than fight, that does not make it a harmless quirk that people are obligated to tolerate forever. It is something one must be committed to healing from, just as they would be for any other trauma response that impairs their relationships.
Anyone who has had a mother who could never say “no”, only to later complain how ungrateful her children are; or a friend who has a habit of flaking out of their plans with you at the last minute; or someone constantly asking you for reassurance; would understand why it is extremely exhausting for others and not just for oneself. I have even known people who actively defend their pleasing habits, and even made me feel that I am in the wrong for not wanting to be more like them.
Autistic Flapper 